Trip to the Outhouse’s Favorite Players of World Cup 2010 (Yup, there are some redeeming factors)

Another weekend in full force, with summer baking (actually here in southeast Texas, summer steams more often than bakes) most everything outside, I’ve cranked down the AC inside and “chillin'” on this Saturday afternoon.

I’ve just finished watching the 3rd Place World Cup game–and that’s a big lie, I clicked over less than three times to see what the score was.  The first time the national anthems of Uruguay and Germany were being played, so the score must have been 0-0, or nil-nil, as they like to say in Futbol-speak.  Then I clicked it over later to watch all the excitement, but, alas, too late, I was, and the game was over with the Germans weinerschnitzeling the South Americans 3-2.

I’ve kind of worn out my opinion of soccer in an earlier post. (See here.)  But, we must, I say, give credit where credit is due, and place the laurel crowns where they are deserved.  And too, it’s been awhile since I’ve posted here just for prurient interests.

So without further ado, here are Trip to the Outhouse’s Favorite Players of World Cup 2010:

Piotr Trochowski, member of the German team that placed 3rd

Robin van Persie, member of the Dutch team, which was defeated by Spain in the championship game

Lukas Podolski, teammate of Trochowski

Carlos Bocanegra of Team USA, which made it out of the group rounds only to lose to Ghana

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Soccer–Football–Or Whatever–It Needs More Points and More Commercial Breaks (Stand In Line To Complain, Chumps)

The Brits kicked this game around the world when they had the “empire where the sun never sets”, but I’ve tried my best and still can’t see much in soccer, the sport others demand we call “football” and get pissed off when we won’t.

And now it’s World Cup time again, and millions of people in countries with GNPs that can ill afford more non-productive work days (How many have they already taken off for the innumerable saints’ days?) are spending days on end not going to work or attending school so that they can watch 22 guys chase a white ball back and forth across the field for 90 minutes in hopes of  catching someone–anyone–getting it into the goal.

Those that love it–not native-born here I assure you–have told me, “Oh, you don’t understand the techniques, the finesse.”  But I’ve tried.  And soccer goes into the same category with a marathon race and golf, that just are plain deadly to watch.  Except, at least, with a marathon and golf, you know in the end there’s going to be a winner.  But in soccer–yes, soccer, damn it–the game could end in a tie, or draw, as they like to call it.  I mean isn’t that what sports are all about?  Having a winner.  And a loser.  Or losers.  After all, if there’s no winner or loser, it isn’t really a sport; it’s just exercising.

But with this game, these guys can do their ball-chasing for the required 90 minutes and–time extra, and there could still be a tie.

Look what happened this past Saturday in the much touted game between the USA and England (Why is the country Great Britain, but Scotland, and maybe Wales, or even Northern Ireland, for all I know, could have a team in the World Cup?) .  The game ended in a 1-1 tie, but the Englanders went away with their tails between their legs boo-hooing because they hadn’t won and the Red, White, and Blue took to field proudly crowing,”Well, at least, we didn’t lose.”  To top it off, the English goalkeeper caught all kinds of hell for losing the game, while the American goalkeeper was lauded as the best player on the field.  But the game ended in a tie.  Go figure.

During that same 90 minutes, I went to run errands–shopped for groceries, picked up my laundry, and mailed off some bills.  Accomplished some things.  When I got back home, though, the score hadn’t changed much. (Come on guys.  Make more points, increase the size of the net or something.)

And the World Cup is just as predictable as the Miss Universe Pageant, which is just as boring and worthless in my books.  With that beauty competition, you know that every other year, Miss Venezuela is going to get the crown, and with the World Cup, it’s going to be either Germany or Brazil, unless Italy can squeeze one out.

Oh, well, maybe all the shirts and other paraphernalia sold will help those other countries’ GNPs, unless, of course, all that stuff is made in China.