I Want My Gay TV: Will the Real Drag Queen Stand Up?

Ongina. Jeannie. Are they one and the same? Maybe siblings? They not only look alike, they act alike and sound alike.

It’s probably a good thing my vacation is almost over.  I can only stand being a sloth for about a day and a half, and there’s only so much daytime (and night time) TV that I can endure.

I’m even beginning to think that those Prop. 8 supporters that say same-sex marriage will ruin opposite-sex marriage might have a leg to stand on.  (Could it be the middle leg?)  I’ve been watching more than my usual share  of Property Virgins and House Hunters on HGTV.  I won’t say that my gaydar is all that great, but there seems to be a good percentage of buff, Polo-wearing husbands on those episodes that show more interest in stainless steel appliances and granite countertops than in work benches in the garage or the size of the yard.

Jeannie (or is it Ongina?), host of the Style channel's "How Do I Look?"

Keep flipping through the channels and you discover that there are any number of shows that are trying to change some poor woman’s image from “frumpy” to “humpy”.  This is nothing new, but after I saw one of these transformation shows called How Do I Look? , I was sure that one of the drag queens had abandoned Logo for the Style channel (mystyle.com).

Ongina (or is it Jeannie?), on the right, with co-"profes" Raven and Jujube, from "Rupaul's Drag U"

Supposedly, the host of this makeover program is Jeannie Mai, but appearance-wise, it could be Ongina, one of the contestants in Rupaul’s Drag Race, and now one of the “professors” in Rupaul’s Drag U, both from Logo.

And when it comes to Logo, I opted for a higher-priced package on DirecTV, just to be able to get a “gay” channel, but whenever I click 2-7-2, what do I get?  Nine-five percent of the time, it’s either a re-run of a Drag U (and so far they’ve only shown three new episodes) or Buffy–The Vampire Slayer.  Can anyone tell me what’s so gay about that show?  I know one of the characters is supposed to be lesbian.  Maybe Logo is trying to attract people that are so hot for the Twilight movies.

When it comes to daytime TV, at least the “Judge” shows are good for a few laughs, even if you do have to suffer through ads for ambulance-chasing lawyers.

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I Want My Gay TV (Part IV)

The Maury Povich Show helps quench the thrst for personal dirt.

The Maury Povich Show helps quench the thirst for personal dirt.

I had a chance last week to watch some daytime TV. I like to get my dose of the “judge” shows every once in a while; then I’m good until my next time off comes along. Even a few of the “DNA-who’s the daddy” Maury Povich Shows can glue me to the sofa for a bit.

The daytime talk shows, though, do nothing for me. Years ago Oprah might have been OK, but in that time slot, I will take Judge Judy over Oprah with or without the exclamation point.

Last Friday, my flipper finger did pause a bit and left The Ellen Degeneres Show stay on for a moment. As I said, I’m not really into daytime talk shows, not even Ellen. She’s funny as a comedian, but her talk show, even the dancing, doesn’t make me want to watch. I really haven’t seen her for maybe six months, so what has happened to her look? Why is she wearing all that makeup? Actually, she looks like Twiggy’s twin–today’s Twiggy, not the young Twiggy of the 1960s. All that makeup and pixie haircut on Ellen just doesn’t fit her personality. And it makes her look old.

Is somebody telling these high-profile lesbians that they need to “priss up”? I mean everybody knows Ellen Degeneres is not the lipstick lesbian in that family; her other half is Portia de Rossi after all!

And just now I was watching MSNBC, and there was another “not a lipstick lesbian” Rachel Maddow with her eyes all mascaraed up, cheeks blushed out, and lips over-evident with gloss. I watched The Rachel Maddow Show just last week and her makeup wasn’t shouting out through the TV screen.

I have nothing against makeup, but it needs to be done right and be appropriate for the person. I don’t see that with Ellen and Rachel.

Greek comes on at 7 PM on ABC Family.

Greek comes on at 7 PM on ABC Family.

Monday night two of my favorite shows are on; unfortunately, they start at the same time. The Big Bang Theory on CBS has become absolutely my favorite half-hour comedy show. I suppose there’s something in me that can identify with all of the “nerdliness”. Greek starts at 7 PM (CDT) also, but is an hour-long show focusing on college life, not so much on the study side, but more on the party/relationship side. In Greek on ABC Family, Calvin (played by Paul James, is an out gay fraternity brother, but so far this season, the story lines have given little focus to him. Loyal viewers have been left waiting for any kind of relationship for Calvin to begin.

When it comes to relationships, this past Sunday’s episode of my favorite show, Brothers and Sisters over on ABC had almost all of the romantic relationships ripping apart. The most stable relationship is that of Scotty (Luke MacFarlane) and Kevin (Matthew Rhys), despite last week’s reappearance of Kevin’s hot, ex-boyfriend Chad (Jason Lewis) and the big lip-smacker that he laid on Kevin on their encounter in the street. Actually, there are so many loose ends in the show that it makes one wonder how many of them will be tied up before the season finale, or whether we’ll be left hanging on many fronts over the summer.

Will Chad cause some kind of trouble in Kevin and Scotty's relationship?  (Jason Lewis and Matthew Rhys of ABC's Brothers and Sisters)

Will Chad cause some kind of trouble in Kevin and Scotty's relationship? (Jason Lewis and Matthew Rhys of ABC's Brothers and Sisters)

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(Also check out “I Want My Gay TV” Part I, Part II, and Part III.)

I Want My Gay TV (Part I)

Noah and Luke from ATWT

Noah and Luke from ATWT

Ty (Jason Dottley) of Sordid Lives

Ty (Jason Dottley) of Sordid Lives

Because I’m on “stay-cation”, I’ve been trying to soak up enough daytime television so that I’ll be tired of it and will have had my fill until my days off from work come around. I prefer the “judge” shows to the talk shows, even though some of the judges are attempting to bridge the gap with all the DNA testing and “who’s the daddy” crap.

Today, I’ve been flipping back and forth between “Judge David Young” and “As the World Turns”. since both have at least a little “gay-ness” to them. With Judge Young, the producers are trying to give another flavor to an otherwise abundance of daytime court TV. He’s not the Hispanic judge; he’s not the Black judge; he’s not the “bitchy woman” judge–he’s the gay judge. What I like about this show is that they seem to really use the law more than personal drama in the lives of the plaintiff and the defendants. However, Judge Young’s attempt at using Judge Judy’s cattiness to show authority oftentimes comes across as just being snotty.

Not having seen “ATWT” for so long, I was hoping to catch up on what’s happening with Luke and Noah’s story, but this cute couple was nowhere to been today–at least during my channel-flipping fury. It had been so long since I had scene the show that I had little idea about any of the story lines, except the one of Luke’s parents. But surprise, surprise! Luke had a new mother! Anyway, there was a new actress playing his mother. And . . . she looks quite a bit younger. She also has a boyfriend that looks like he should be going to college with Luke and Noah. I guess that’s just one of the characteristics of soap operas; they always stretch one’s limits of believability. Probably why I don’t get into them very much–my believability has gotten stretched so many times, it’s lost its elasticity.

Since I got my new cable upgrade (read about it here), I’ve been watching Logo. It has a few good shows, but they do lots of reruns (good if you missed something, but how many times do they need to repeat it?). The best show by far is “Sordid Lives”. It really should be on network TV. It’s as good as “Desperate Housewives” with the Southern flavor of “Steel Magnolias” and a bit of “Hee Haw” thrown in to boot.

Speaking of “Desperate Housewives”, I’m a latecomer when it comes to that show, but it along with my favorite “Brothers and Sisters” makes me look forward to Sunday night TV, just like I looked forward to watching “Bonanza” and “What’s My Line?” when I was a kid. The story-lines and the acting are so well done on “Brothers and Sisters” that they should film more episodes so that there are no re-runs during the whole season!

You can read “I Want My Gay TV (Part II) here and (Part III) here.